So recently we had an issue with a family member (not my relation, wink-wink) who frequents our house the issue deep down is me taking things too personally, BUT this person wouldn’t quit. As I went about my daily parenting activities, the person we will call Sally would offer comments on each and every thing I did I was inundated with the following comments about my 2.5 mo/old:
- How do you know the baby is eating enough if you are nursing?
- Have you thought of giving the baby formula, or sugar water?
- Babies just cry, you are spoiling the baby
- Attachment parenting sounds like a trend to me
- Put the baby down already
- I started my kids on food at 6 weeks, you should too
- Why aren’t you putting the baby in the crib
- that carrier is silly, you should let the baby just lay down and cry, it is good for them
- Co-sleepers will spoil the baby
- Organic food is just a ploy to get you to spend more, look at my family, we are fine.
Just so you know I don’t preach about the above mentioned stuff, they ask me questions and I answer them simply. This visit they were flipping through my favorite baby book.
I am listening to all this and grinding my teeth, I actually didn’t respond to any of these comments. I am usually a Pollyanna about things, I don’t always achieve it, but I do believe in the Power of Positive Thinking. I have witnessed the effects of having a negative mindset and a positive one, and the latter is much more appealing. During this hailstorm of negative comments the baby was crying, a lot which only made the comments more annoying.
Then Sally’s daughter said, You know what, crack heads have babies and they survive. I looked up at her and just stared at her in disbelief. I wanted to yell: Well sorry we have higher standards than crack-heads thank you very much! What the heck kind of comment is that? The staring made her really uncomfortable
I don’t do this, even when someone is doing something that goes against my beliefs I shut my mouth. So I am still steaming about it a week later.
My confidence wasn’t really shaken when this happened, as much as other times like when I was scolded in public for not covering the baby’s hands with mittens to avoid people passing germs, since people love touching baby hands, when that happened I burst into tears and felt like the worst Momma out there, I have pangs of Momma guilt about a lot of things….
So what do you think, how should I have handled this? What would you do? Have you dealt with similar stuff?
