How do you deal with Momma-criticism? July 15, 2008

 So recently we had an issue with a family member (not my relation, wink-wink) who frequents our house the issue deep down is me taking things too personally, BUT this person wouldn’t quit.  As I went about my daily parenting activities, the person we will call Sally  would offer comments on each and every thing I did I was inundated with the following comments about my 2.5 mo/old:

• How do you know the baby is eating enough if you are nursing?
• Have you thought of giving the baby formula, or sugar water?
• Babies just cry, you are spoiling the baby
• Attachment parenting sounds like a trend to me
• Put the baby down already
• I started my kids on food at 6 weeks, you should too
• Why aren’t you putting the baby in the crib
• that carrier is silly, you should let the baby just lay down and cry, it is good for them
• Co-sleepers will spoil the baby
• Organic food is just a ploy to get you to spend more, look at my family, we are fine.

Just so you know I don’t preach about the above mentioned stuff, they ask me questions and I answer them simply.  This visit they were flipping through my favorite baby book.

I am listening to all this and grinding my teeth, I actually didn’t respond to any of these comments.  I am usually a Pollyanna about things, I don’t always achieve it, but I do believe in the Power of Positive Thinking. I have witnessed the effects of having a negative mindset and a positive one, and the latter is much more appealing.  During this hailstorm of negative comments the baby was crying, a lot which only made the comments more annoying.  

Then Sally’s daughter said, You know what, crack heads have babies and they survive.  I looked up at her and just stared at her in disbelief.  I wanted to yell: Well sorry we have higher standards than crack-heads thank you very much!  What the heck kind of comment is that?  The staring made her really uncomfortable

I don’t do this, even when someone is doing something that goes against my beliefs I shut my mouth.  So I am still steaming about it a week later. 

My confidence wasn’t really shaken when this happened, as much as other times like when I was scolded in public for not covering the baby’s hands with mittens to avoid people passing germs, since people love touching baby hands, when that happened I burst into tears and felt like the worst Momma out there, I have pangs of Momma guilt about a lot of things….

So what do you think, how should I have handled this?  What would you do?  Have you dealt with similar stuff?

Summer fun June 28, 2008

Making memories for our children is so important.  When I look back on my own childhood, summer is connected to a lot of my good memories.  Playing outside with my siblings, cousins and friends in our pool, our house was always the favorite, thanks to my laid back & fun momma.  Homemade popsicles, camp outs in the back yard, swimming at night, chasing fireflies, riding my bike, climbing trees, summer reading club at the library, taking walks with my family, watching some television before bed (Fraggle Rock, or the Muppet show were favorites) fresh from the bath, my long hair dripping down the back of my nightgown, feeling tired in a good way. 

I see too many children today over scheduled during the summer, it is almost like they are still in school.  When I had a career that revolved around children, it saddened me to see that imagination doesn’t seem to play a part with mainstream kids.  If they aren’t doing one of their extracurriculars they are zoning in front of video games, IM, movies, and television.  Of course we wanted to do that as children, but our parents didn’t allow it.  We all had one choice for an extracurricular, and the rest of the summer was dedicated to play, imagination, and fun.  None of us are worse for the wear because of it.  This is what I want for my children, while I do understand the importance of a balanced life with some extracurriculars, I think down time is just as important.